For most of my life I have been hyper-alert to violence. Long, sad stories; we all have them. Now I am firmly on my journey of recovery and the whatever the heck crafting a new and safe life is all about.
I am right there, on that path. I have a place to live. CoolCat and I made it that far and now we are healing and expanding beyond the restraints of that other life. I have been in therapy almost from the beginning, when I fled that old life. I was homeless for a while, stayed with friends for a while, lived in a motel for a bit. No end to a lot of that stuff from that person who is not me, but we are moving on as best we can.
An interesting part of this process is a renewed interest in things beyond my immediate problems. And, I have a need to express my feelings and connections to what other people are experiencing in their own lives. I most likely will not post here often, thinking of this as more of a place to share energy when so inspired.
I suspect that any links I provide may not last forever, so I will be sharing as much of the original story as is properly and legally available.
There has been frequent and intense media coverage about a situation in Florida. The case, which just ended in a not guilty verdict for the fatal shooting of a teenager named Trayvon Martin by man named George Zimmerman, the gated community where they both were living at the time. The details can be found on-line, and what I want to share about that is we can only speculate about what actually happened during the encounter, but is simply does not seem right to me, that justice was served by there being no consequences for an encounter where someone dies.
Race issues are rampant here in the US. It is a common belief amongst some citizens that racism and prejudice and the associated behaviors are a current problem in the southern part of our country, but the truth is that whilst racism is more subtle in the other areas of the country. I live in the general area of the Midwest states and can affirm that there is just as much racism and other prejudices here than anywhere, my entire country and the world.
My country was reported to be founded on the principles of freedom for everyone. The truth is that our founding fathers really had only white men in mind. The dialogue and documents mention only men, but we babes have fought for our share, with varying degrees of success, as have other populations. It is a continuing struggle, as evidenced by the issues and legalities facing citizens of all persuasions. I am certain that all of those life circumstances and issues will find their way here eventually.
Back to race. I sometimes think that discrimination will never be lessened, much less eradicated. Such baby steps we take in this direction. The path is strewn with hopelessness, dashed dreams and broken people.
Still, I am a hopeful optimist, having managed to hang on to that even during the worst times of that other life.
I believe in a kind and loving Universe.
I believe in the inherent goodness of people.
I believe that we are genetically predisposed to love one another, in all kinds of ways, from simple courtesy to the willingness to give our lives for others.
I have pretty much given up on corporations and governments, but that is another story. Stories. Lots of them.
Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas tells us, My name is Odd Thomas. I see the lingering spirits of the dead.
My name is J. I see the lingering spirits of good people who have good intentions and a love for the world and all of its inhabitants, even if they have been led astray by bad parenting, mentoring or their own lack/loss of self-worth.
And, I am not alone. I spent last week receiving training to become a Peer Specialist (another story). There I met a room full of people just like me.
That has never, ever, ever happened to me before. Oh, sure, I run into the occasional person or group that is on a similar path to my own. But, a whole room? Never.
So, I know with absolute certainty that my little part of the world is joining with other people and organizations all over the world to eliminate the things that are used to minimize, reduce, defeat, harm and kill those who are different from the people willing to do all of those things. And more.
This morning I was reading something chosen to delay me from doing what I really need to do today. It led me to the story of a black woman who owns a restaurant/diner in the UK.
World News on NBCNEWS.com
By Henry Austin
Black diner owner's 'I don't bite' sign sparks soul-searching about racism in UK
http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/07/11/19411838-black-diner-owners-i-dont-bite-sign-sparks-soul-searching-about-racism-in-uk
Marth-Renee Kolleh, is a 46 year old diner owner in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England. She has been feeling that potential customers were entering her restaurant, seeing her, and leaving because she is black. She has observed the expressions on the faces of people when they first see her, and has overheard comments from them as they turn around and leave.
In an experiment to test those feelings, she chose two Saturdays, her busiest day. On the first Saturday, she had one of her white employees do all of the greeting, order taking, serving and all the rest. The following Saturday, Ms. Kolleh did all of the same things. Her Saturday brought in only one-fifth of the revenue.
So, she made a sign that informed potential customers that she was black, owned the diner and that if it did not bother them, they could quality, wholesome meals inside. She also wrote "I am a black woman, and always will be. If you are allergic to black people, don't come in."
Again, I have never been there; all I have is her story, but I suspect that those few incidents may have been only the tipping point for many things, people and behaviors that preceded those incidents. This story is about a dozen different aspects of how we try to have a life. Chances are that I will never be privy to any of the rest of them.
The comments sections is more revealing, exposing how people really feel, under the auspices and support of being completely anonymous.
If any of the magic wands I have made over the years actually worked on these kinds of external circumstances, situations, viewpoints and issues, I would make more and have them available to anyone. Of course, if that sort of magic existed, we really would not need it in the first place.
My work is primarily with the most needy of the needy. I have plenty of relatively normal-life clients, and they are my vacation from the more strenuous work. By the time some people become my clients they have exhausted all of their resources, often all of the available resources. Racism and prejudices and discrimination of every manner is almost always a factor in how they are struggling.
I am not making any excuses for how some people struggle. I am a perfect example of how someone can overcome life circumstances and go on to have a truly kick-ass life. I am a solid practitioner of the theory of pulling up my big girl panties and getting over and moving forward. When someone chooses to work with me, I expect them to do their part of the work. I accept no excuses. You can either take this opportunity to move forward or use it to support some other person or program or service where you will take advantage of that opportunity.
At last week's training, there was a strong and interesting discussion and production of what the ethical standards should be for this new work. In my small-group for this section was a man who is working with veterans (I already work with veterans through a state agency and would love to do more of this...another story), and as we were finishing up, he was able to distill all of the ideas and standards, guidelines and rules, to one precept. He referenced it to the modern-ish distillation of the Hippocratic Oath, but I think of it in terms of my own, cobbled, weird and personal spirituality.
It is First, do no harm.
Would that everyone tried to do that at least once each day.
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