churchy stuff

So, anyway, Reverend Desmond Tutu is not willing to go to a heaven if gay people are not allowed to spend eternity there.  He would rather go to hell.  He is...has always been...totally my kind of person.

And, I have been a fan of the new Pope since I first learned about him, whenever that was.  When he was chosen and ordained, in super rapid time, which was amazing and kind of nice.  I left the Catholic Church a long time ago.  I still had faith and a strong belief, but the church system, at least that parish, was not a good match for me.  I tried to stay connected, involved.  The politics and the pettiness of the movers and shakers was difficult to watch.

The turning point  was when my daughter wanted to attend a Catholic high school.  She had tried public school for eighth grade, and soon realized that her learning disabilities made it too difficult for her to function outside of a private school environment.  So, I had to quit the childhood program I created at the parish school.  I needed a job that paid more money.  It was necessary, there was no other choice.  And, it was going to get more complicated because of the situation at home.  I knew that I would be in for more abuse.  Just did not have any other choices.

On the day that I gave notice and shared with the school principal and the pastor that I would not be returning after the summer break, the pastor sent the president of the home and school association to talk to me.  He tried to talk me out of leaving.  I explained my reasons and told him that I would not be changing my mind.  Thinking back, I marvel at how I was unable to stand up for myself or protect myself at home, much less refuse to do anything that someone who is not me wanted me to do.  It really is strange how I could be one person at home and some other kind of person outside of the home.  Yeah, I know that I have learned in therapy that I was doing whatever I needed to survive.  Still pretty darn interesting to think of it now.

So, anyway, he kept trying to convince me to stay and when I kept trying to tell me that I could not, that I really needed the extra money for my daughter to attend that school, he told me that I really should just apply for food stamps and that would make it possible for me to be available to stay where I was.  After all, he added, as I stood there dumbfounded, was that it was my right to get those food stamps because that is the kind of program that my taxes had been supporting all those years.

My daughter attended that church school and I got a job selling sewing machines and giving sewing lessons, and later moved up to a book store.

Whilst I continued to attend mass each week, it was pretty much the end of my involvement with any of the church programs.  And, Pope Francis excites me.  I like his ideas and his practices.  I like the way he is traveling around the world and I most especially like his recent stance on the issues surrounding and affecting same sex relationships.

Then, he had to go and maintain his integrity and share his views on women's roles in the church.  I would not call him sexist, and that is because he is just who he is.  He is a product of the same hierarchical and centuries long religious community and practice.  Male, primarily white, privilege.  Really, just as simple as that.  Yes, I am a simple and simple-minded person.  That does not make how the Catholic church is structured.

I heard what the Pope said about how women need to be more than altar girls or involved with charitable work, but that the door is closed on women every becoming priests, that the ban is an infallible teaching of the church.  So be it.  Women in the church, particularly nuns, have been taking charge and making strides as long as there have been nun and opportunities for taking charge of things.

I think that none of us will live long enough to see any change in that status or belief.  No one involved is willing to risk giving away or allowing any woman to take any authority or power in, well, anything.

Women will have to keep doing what they always have, keeping the faith and doing the work that needs to be done.

And, I am fairly certain that women like me will continue to have the men of the church, and the home and school association, instruct us in exactly what sacrifices we need to make to do most of that work for them.

I am glad that we have people like Reverend Tutu in the world, and I still like Pope Francis.  For me this is simply another exercise in accepting people for who they are, and maybe finding a bit more acceptance for me and who I am.  I have faith that could happen.